Creating a Schedule for your Child
A schedule should meet two general goals:
- You are able to get important things done (or make progress)
- You, and others, are clear on the priorities for the day
Why a Schedule?
Setting up a schedule like this models good Time Management for your child. Going through the process to plan ahead, consider how long each task will take, and to stick to a pre-set schedule are all very useful when it comes to school and life. Another benefit for parent-made schedules is that you can show your child how to plan for FUN and REST. Too often, people feel like schedules are restrictive (“I have to read for 20 minutes”) but that does not need to be the case. And too often for KIDS, they think about a 20 minute reading time and spend 2 HOURS arguing about why they don’t want to do it. Creating a schedule can help show them that it really is not that big of an issue (easier said than done, right?).
This schedule that YOU create should not feel too much like an obligation or something you have to do. There will be some less-than-desirable things that you need to include (e.g., doctor’s appointments, homework), but those are important for a happy and healthy life – right? Yes, you want to make time for those in your child’s day, so take the time to really think through (1) what are the most important things and (2) why are they important for you (or your child)?
Having both questions answered as you set up the schedule will help when your child(ren) starts asking questions. And of course, they are going to ask questions! But you, as the parent, have the long-term view. You understand the important life skills that will help your child become a confident and productive adult.
Tips for a Schedule
Consider a 2- or 3-hour Block of Time.
Your schedule should be concentrated around practicing and building a particular routine or skill. For example, Study Time or Independent Reading are very important skills for all students at all levels. Ideally, you will create a schedule just for a 2-hour block of time that those skills are most likely to be used.
(Caution) Try not to over-plan your child’s day, because that could lead to over-reliance on you (parent) and leave less room for them to create their own schedule later. But with a 2-hour block focused on a particular skill, you can help them practice the skill, learn to take short breaks, and they will feel the progress quicker.
Plan Ahead for ‘Discussions’
Again, the schedule you create should be something that is important. It should include a key skill that you KNOW will pay off in the long run. This does not include convenience items – similar to ‘busy work’ in schools – but things that will create a more confident adult in the future. Why take the time to consider this? Your child will, probably, ask questions or not want to devote their time to the schedule you created.
There are so many other things that they would rather be doing (e.g., video games, online videos, hanging out with friends). That’s why if you really don’t think the schedule is important – you are going to become more frustrated by their questions. And even if your child follows the schedule because they obey you, the outcome is more superficial – it really doesn’t teach them the value of Time Management or the particular skill.
Manage the Distractions
You know your child better than anyone. Maybe they get distracted by the phone, or laptop, or video game, or pet, or TV… there are so many things that may pull your child’s attention from what you want. You have to plan ahead for those! This is another benefit of setting up a 2- or 3-hour schedule, you can avoid a drawn-out argument. But you really want to go ahead and identify the ways your child typically gets distracted, and consider what they will need to do during the scheduled time.
Should they leave their phone with you (or in another room), should they have set break times during the time frame, or do you want to see how they do on their own? There is no one right way, but the important thing is to pay attention to these distractions and adjust as needed.
There are other considerations when thinking of a schedule like this, but the fun part is finding out along the way. Every discussion, decision, and conversation may feel uncomfortable in the moment – but these are opportunities to connect more with your child.
There are also plenty of helpful tools and suggestions online. Things like timers, visual schedules, calendars, etc. are worth considering to help make this work in your home. Be sure to try a few different options, and give it time (I recommend at least 2 weeks) before saying it doesn’t work for your child.
Good luck, and let us know what approach you find most helpful for you and your family.
**One of the core practices at Clifton Psychological Services, Inc. is to create safe spaces for teenagers to express themselves. We would love to partner with more parents to help you create spaces that work for you and your family!
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