Have you any of these questions come up for you…

• “Is this good enough?”
• “What if I don’t get it right?”
• “What are they thinking about me”
• “I need to double, and triple, check that”

Anxiety is a pest that pops up usually at the worst possible moment.

It makes us second-guess what we know, how we show up, and what others may think. Typically, this comes from many questions or doubts. The key to navigating anxiety is to recognize the triggers, patterns, and strategies.

Knowing your Triggers

Anxiety often appears as thoughts and opinions – typically, false ones. These could be expectations that were placed on you by a parent, teacher, or other respected adult when you were younger. The self-talk that we have may be warped due to getting things wrong and making mistakes. But mistakes are normal and allow us to learn lessons best. But when we do not have a healthy relationship with our mistakes, it can create danger zones – things that we tend to avoid or create a lot of stress around.

You may notice yourself feeling shaky, sweaty, or breathing faster when thinking about these things or when you have to do them. A common example is public speaking (think of how you might feel if asked to give a presentation in front of your peers).

Finding the Patterns

Patterns are repeated processes that have a clear start and end. Once you find the pattern – you can change it. This is easier said than done, but it’s a start. What happens directly after the triggering moment/event? For example, if you get nervous when speaking up against a rude coworker, then you can plan out a Plan A (typical response) and a Plan B (new response).

You know what usually happens, so shifting to something different should have a 50/50 chance of leading to a different outcome. At first it is scary to try a new action, but it is the only way to get something different.

Developing Strategies

Luckily, anxiety falls away in the face of self-confidence and competence. Self-confidence comes from your own ability to manage new situations and do what is best for you. After you have a handle on your triggers and the common patterns, you will need new behaviors or tools to help manage situations better. These strategies don’t have to be anything “major,” they may just be new habits, statements, or tools/resources that you find.

Learning from other people, books, videos, or trial-and-error are all great ways to develop new strategies.

Wouldn’t that be nice.

Keywords: anxiety, mental health, mental wellness, coping, strategies

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