Preparing your Child for Counseling Services
When working with clients under the age of 18, parents are involved in the process and their consent is required. However, the client continues to be the child. There are a number of factors to research while searching for the best service provider for your child. Here are a few tips to consider in order to help prepare your child (and you) for engaging in counseling services.
Consider your Goals
Consider the goals that you hope counseling will meet. Are you looking for information, resources, tools, tips, strategies, etc. – all may be incorporated in the counseling processes, so it can be helpful to narrow down your options by having a good focus on what is the desired outcome. Many counselors use a variety of approaches and techniques to help their clients. Allow the service provider to share with you their approach, experience, and area(s) of expertise. You can then consider whether or not this provider’s approach aligns with your goals – and the goals of your child.
Have your goals/priorities listed out first, and then interview at least 3 providers in your areas to consider the best fit.
Manage Expectations
One common challenge when it comes to Mental health service is differing levels of expectations. Some individuals believe that mental health is similar to physical health in the sense that the concern can be “fixed” in some way. This can be a risky perspective to hold when it comes to counseling. The main reason is that counseling is more about the process than it is about the outcomes. Good counseling helps equip clients with new tools and perspectives related to life’s challenges. While therapy typically begins with a specific area of concern, the process allows clients to face new concerns in different ways – ways that they learn and practice during counseling. Therefore, counseling should not necessarily focus on “fixing” one thing – but it should focus on providing resources, tools, and strategies to help manage challenges across a variety of situations.
Managing your expectations as a parent will help create a supportive context for the counseling to occur. This often reduces the chances of frustration with the therapist and counseling overall.
As a parent, you can (and should) be aware of how things are progressing. So it is recommended that you check in with the therapist periodically. The therapist should continue to maintain appropriate confidentiality; however, they may provide general insight regarding how the client is approaching the skills, learning and using the techniques, and any other general insight regarding the counseling process.
Talk to your Child about Counseling
Feel free to ask your child how counseling is going for them. When doing so, please respect their boundaries regarding what they feel comfortable sharing (or not sharing) with you. Counseling was considered for a reason, and oftentimes children – especially teenagers – appreciate having a non-parent figure where they can be completely open and honest. In order to build this sense of trust and safety, the counselor must be able to ensure what they say during the session remains confidential. Along those lines, parents can help improve outcomes by not trying to encourage the child to share details of what they discuss during the session.
Feel free to schedule a check-in with the therapist to discuss. This can be very helpful in ensuring that the services are benefitting the child outside of the therapy office.
Instead of asking about specific topics or discussions, try asking your child how they feel about the counseling process overall. Things to consider may be:
- Do they feel more comfortable talking with the counselor?
- What has counseling been like for them thus far?
- What are some of the things they are learning during counseling?
- How can I (parent) help with the process?
- Has counseling helped them feel more confident dealing with things? If so, how?
Try not to ask too many questions too often – this can lead to the child becoming resistant and/or closed off. Asking your child about the counseling process can help normalize it (i.e., we all need help sometimes dealing with things), and could strengthen the parent-child bond. Just like counseling itself, this will be a gradual process.
Three (3) Quick tips to help prepare your child for counseling include:
- Consider your Goals
- Manage Expectations
- Talk to your Child about Counseling
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